(I am thinking of giving this to my current employers, but am worried that it seems a little harsh (see final bullet point below). What do you think? I’ve been working with the family for about a month already, so they already have some sense of who I am and what I believe in.)

• I am interested in acting as a facilitator of self-sufficiency. I am not interested in waiting on people. If I am doing my job well, it might look as though I’m not doing much at all. I believe that your children are capable of cleaning up after themselves, making their own toast, packing their own backpacks, pouring their own cereal, and rinsing their own dishes. I do not choose to do those things for them, but to help them learn how to do it for themselves.

• I believe in having clear boundaries and consistently enforcing them. Your kids will not be confused about what I expect from them.

• I believe in allowing kids to learn by experiencing the (safe) natural consequences of their actions. If they choose to wear sweatpants to the beach, then they will have to deal with having wet clingy pants. This will not hurt them. I will stop them from doing things that damage themselves or others or the environment. I recognize that my role is somewhat different than yours in this area.

• My role is different than yours. No doubt, this is self-evident. But I want to say it because there will no doubt be times that you are frustrated that I made a different decision than you would have. I am not a parent. Ideally, I would be a sort of respected (but still groovy) auntie. If there are boundaries that are very important to you (like which clothes kids are allowed to wear to the beach), you will need to be sure that those are communicated to me clearly.

• I do not see it as my role to keep your kids comfortable at all times. In fact, they will almost certainly be uncomfortably wet, muddy, tired, or bored at times. They will also almost certainly be joyously wet and muddy and too tired to even tell you about all the adventures we had today. You can’t have one without the other. I intend to push their boundaries because that is how people grow. Growth is often uncomfortable.

• Speaking of mud. Your kids will get muddy. You should be prepared for this. I bring an extra change of clothes with me to work every day. Your kids should have clothes that it is okay to get muddy, and they should be responsible for knowing which clothes those are. We will even spend a lot of time outside in the winter, even in the rain, so they should have warm clothes that it’s okay to get muddy. I will take responsibility for helping your kids clean those clothes properly so that you don’t have to deal with muddy clothes in the house.

• I like computer games, and I come from a generation that spends far more time on the internet than a lot of folks would consider healthy. In my previous life as a web designer, I spent 8 hours a day online and then came home and spent another 4 or 5 hours online during my personal time, mostly doing such “unproductive” things as learning how to build community via online games and how to engage in friendships via online bulletin boards. Therefore, I am unlikely to be as concerned as you are that your children spend hours online doing “unproductive” things. If you have a specific time limit that you would like me to enforce, I am glad to do so.

• I believe in encouraging kids to think for themselves. This often has unexpected results, which you should be prepared for. Once kids start thinking for themselves, they often start questioning the reasoning of the people who used to do their thinking for them. In most cases, that is you. Your kids will do this anyway, whether someone encourages it or not. I intend to teach your kids reasonable and respectful ways to question authority, but be aware that I believe in questioning authority.

• I believe in honoring kids’ need to relax. Don’t expect me to have your kids actively engaged at all times. Just like grown-ups, kids need space to just zone out and not make decisions or engage with other people. Particularly during the school year, no part of their day is designed to just give them some space with no expectations. As someone who has really high space requirements, I see this as something really important that I can give to your kids.

• I also believe in honoring kids’ natural curiosity and desire to explore. Expect that I will figure out what excites your kids and that I will encourage them to (safely) pursue those things. Excited about fire? Let’s learn how to make fire by rubbing sticks together (and let’s also talk about fire safety and responsibility to one’s community while we’re at it). Excited about berries? Let’s see how many different kinds of edible berries we can find (and talk a little about ecology and thankfulness while we’re at it).

• Know that I am not a naturally outgoing and charismatic person. It will take me a while to get to know your kids, and it will take them a while to realize that I do, after all, have a sense of humor. For that matter, it will probably take you and I a while to figure out how we relate to each other.

• I love working with kids. I am excited to get to know your kids in particular. I look forward to learning a lot from your family. Creating relationships is a slow process for me, but it is a rewarding process. I hope that my relationship with your kids will be rewarding for everyone involved.

• I am a blunt (some would say tactless) person. If you want me to know something, I won’t get it if you try to be subtle. I take feedback and criticism well, so please just say it like it is. I will try to provide feedback to you in the manner that you would like to hear it, but be aware that I am not good at tact and subtlety. If I say something that seems harsh, please try to hear it as coming from a place of good intentions. If you don’t understand where I’m coming from, please say so.

Recent Entries

• Winter Walks with Corrie
• Winter’s Here!
• International Shopping
• Maybe someday I’ll have something else to talk about
• Just because I have a nifty camera and a new puppy
• Introducing Corrie
• New Puppy!
• We Are One Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation
• Spinning
• Peanut Butter Pomegranate Cookies

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 10:20 am and is filed under kids, work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.